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Jun. 22nd, 2008

well for those of you that don't already know. I just got out of the hospital yesterday afternoon. I went in on Wednesday because of pain in my leg and numbness in my right hand and found that not only did i ahve carbal tunnel in my hand. I have a huge blood clot in my leg and 3 in my lungs. I'm once again on coumadin and lovenox (both are bloodthinners). the doctors have said that since they started the blood test so early there is now way to definativly prove that I have a genetic clotting disorder but they are treating it as such. They have said i will be on coumadin for the rest of my life. Besides this bad news.....I'm not going to be able to have children due to the coumadin. any time i would get pregnant the thinned blood would cause me to loose the baby.

I'm on a walker currently since I can't get arounmd, and i will have to wear a wristed breaced for a good long whiile probably as long as my hand continues to be numb. (which is making typing this even more interesting). Mom spend every day there with me and Christy was there too, she would stay at the house with mom and come with her and stay at the hospital too. she even offered to spend the night at the hospital if i needed her.

When the doctor told me about the blood clot, he just said it and walked out of the room. I broke down. I was and am so scared. Both mom and Christy held me while i cried. I'm scared about BG, about not being able to go. I'm scared about never having kids, and about dying. I've never going to be able to donate blood again, and i have a rare blood type that they call me in to donate when they need me. I worried about how i will make it on my own a BG, I'm still planning on living off campus, but I'm going to talk to the college and see if there is a way for me to park closer than just commuter parking due to my legs.

Well I guess that it is, some people I have lost your numbers for (Haullie you are one of them) and I wasn't able to contact you. Please send me numbers so this won't happen again.

Thanks everyone for listening

May. 24th, 2008

hey everyone, its been a bit since I was on here, so I thought I would post a bit about what has been going on.

Spring semester is over. 2 A's, 2 B's and 1 F (stupid french), otherwise a good semester. I was inducted into Phi Theta Kappa, made the Dean's list and have a 3.94 GPA. I've gotten a full ride to BGSU (scholarships and financial aid, no loans) so I'm super excited.

I've put down my security deposit for my apartment, and i've begun buying items for it. Its going to be furnished, but I'm taking certain things with me, like my bed, book cases, tv stand, stuff like that. I've gotten books packed already and odds and ends too. Posters and pictures have been framed and are ready to travel. I think I'm jumping the gun, but since I'm nto taking any classes this summer session, I have nothing else to do, so I'm packing.

I jsut got back from visiting Mindy on thursday. We got to see Eddie Izzard in Pittsburgh!!!! He is still as hot as ever and as funny as well. I bought a t-shirt and a program. I'm going to frame it and the t-shirt I got from the Tori Amos concert Mindy and I went to awhile back.

i had some nice cuddle time with a friend the other day (I won't say who, since I don't know they want their significant other to know), it was nice to fall asleep like that, holding someone, and being able to reach out in the middle of the night and holding them close.

There were lots of memories that came up, rethinking of things and being sad that I was so messed up mentally that i threw away good things. I don't even remember what i did and said that made it all end, and I know that is because of the state I was in mentally and emotionally. That person means alot to me, and i hope they know it.

Otherwise, things have been good. I registered for my classes at BGSU the other day. I'm taking 5. ART 102 (2-D art) ARTH *** (western art), CIVL *** (Roman Life) GEOL *** (Historic geology of ancient man) and HIST *** ( Western civilization). I've decided to continue with the art history major, and since BG requires that you have a minor, I'm going to classical civilizations as the minor. Unfortunately, most of my art history classes from Wooster do not transfer, even though they offer similar ones. Since the classes at Wooster were 200 level and they are considered 400 level at BG, they don't count. I'm a bit pissed off about it, so it will just be like repeating all those classes. Luckly I kept all my book from back then so that should help. lol.

Nothing much going on here. I want to wish everyone a great holiday weekend, and everyone is in my thoughts and i hope everyone is doing well. Night!!!

To all my Wooster friends

I'm sure you all remember Joe Cortez? Long outspoke conservative on a very liberal campus?

Anyway.... would any of you be surprised to learn that he is on The CW's Beauty and the Geek?!?!?

I just got a phone call from him on sunday. The shows are on Tuesday at 8pm on WBNX (or the CW, depends on where you are from).

I think its a great thing and he says he has had loads of fun with it, but I'm still dumbfounded by it. We used to date, and to think of him doing something like this blows my mind.

I hope you can all check him out on tuesdays!!!

Long time no post

so its been awhile. Lots of things have gone on. I've gotten a full ride to BGSU, I start in the fall semester. I'm getting an apartment in bowling green, its a one bedroom and I get to keep Miroku and scabbers with me too! I move in sometime in August.

I've joined Weight Watchers, too. I started just 3 weeks ago and i've already lost 20lbs! I know its alot in a short time, but its a process of changing the way I eat, so I'm really excited.

hmmm....school is going well, lots of homework, but I'm getting most A's and B's so its cool.

I can't think of much, though I know this is a short update. i just wanted to fill everyone in on what was going on.

Jan. 20th, 2008

well...Tuesday begins training at the Cleveland rape crisis center. I'm kinda nervous. I haven't really been dealing with feeling and stuff lately. I'm worried that I'll freak while at this thing, worried that i won't be able to help people.

I've been having bad feelings lately and some memories too.

*sigh* I don't know. I just hope everything will be ok.

I haven't been seeing a psych. for the bi-polar and PTSD and I'm beginning to think that I need to head back to one. My meds have been this way for months....I'm just starting to have bad thoughts again.

sorry for this little rant. just wanted to say stuff.


so..... I just felt the need to update about the pets here at the house. I have Miroku, who I've posted pictures about. However I do have a Hamster named Scabbers. He is so sweet. Recentl,y i noticed that he wasn't eating like he should or drinking and that he had pulled even more bedding into his house then usual. I did some research and found that he might be entering hibernation, which is really dangerous for them since they don't store food and water like other animals.

I placed a heating pad under his tank and added some boiled eggs and carrots to his food dish. I hope that helps him, and he seems a bit more active now that it is warmer for him.

sorry i just felt like updating since I'm bored out of my mind. I can't wait till classes start back up again. I'll have my associates in May, but I wont; be able to graduate until August becaus I missed the deadline for applying. Oh well, I just take a few extra classes to add to BGSU.

Anyway, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and Solstice, whichever you celebrate.

just figured it was time...

soo....I haven't removed or edited anything or anyone on my friends list since I got this account and I'm beginning to think that it is time for a such a action.

If i can't even remember who you are...I don't' think it will be of any good to either of us for you to continue to read this stuff here, especially since i keep posts dealing with survivor issues as friends only.

If you really want to stay, comment, though most of the people that will bother to comment are already staying.

that is all....

you think you know me?

(2 Points) My name:
(4 Points) My last name:
(4 Points) Who am I in love with:
(1 Points) Where did we meet:
(6 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:
(1 Points) Where do I work:
(3 Point) What am I afraid of:
(2 Points) Do I smoke :
(3 Points) Do I drink:
(3 points) Do you think Im a virgin:
(1 Point) Do I have any siblings:
(2 Points) How many:
(2 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:
(1 Point) How many piercings do I have:
(4 Points) How many tattoos do I have:
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music:
(4 Points) Am I shy or outgoing:
(3 Points) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
(2 Points) Whats my favorite color:
(3 Points) Name something I hate:
(4 Points) Name a talent I have:
(4 Points) Whats my phone number:
(4 Points) What kind of sneakers do I wear:
(4 Points) Do I have any pets:
(2 Points) Who am I dating/liking right now:
(5 Points) How long have I been dating them:
(5 points) How tall am I:
(5 Points) What is my worst habit:
(5 Points on creativity) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring:

i'll send you your grade...

a brief update.....

first off....important news.

I just had surgery. I was in the hospital from last Friday until Tuesday because of stomach pains. I was admitted through the ER after horrible "female" exam by an incompetent doctor. I spent the next few dys in pain and on heavy drugs. They couldn't tell what was wrong with me and finally got a surgeon to see me on Monday night. He examined me and then said that I was going to have surgery, I needed my appendix out and that they had waited to long and if they didn't do it then it was in danger of bursting. I had exactly 30 minutes to get used to the idea that I was going under the knife....not cool. I go to surgery...the feeling of going under anesthesia and waking up like 3 seconds later in recovery is disconcerting to say the least. I'm fine now, just in some pain, though its getting better. My teachers have been wonderful about all this. They have all called the hospital while I was in and my home once I got to leave.

Next.... I'm applied the my 3rd choice college. Bowling Green State University. 2 of my high school friends have graduated from there this year and are both excited to see me go there. I would be able to continue my degree in art history that I started at the College of Wooster. I've applied so far to: Shawnee State University, Cleveland State University, and BGSU. I'm thinking of reapplying to Wooster. I'm not sure if I want to go back, but its an idea.

Things have other wise been good, the only major thing was the surgery, and i thank everyone that has called, written, or sent gifts. I appreciate it all.

I think thats all for now, I'll update more later.

Some exciting news

So...I thought I would take a big step the other day. I applied to be a volunteer at the local r*pe crisis center here in Cleveland. I was worried that i wouldn't be able to because i was a survivor myself, but I got an email back saying that they would love to have me!!!

The training starts in January, its a couple of weeks long 2x a week. Then if I want to do face to face advocacy I have to do another 8 hours of training. The original training is jsut so you can work the hot line.

I'm nervous about it, but very happy at the same time!